Chuck the Shitty Friends!

Sometime last year, I had a revelation concerning my quest to Chuck the Shit! I realized that I had a lot of friends who didn't really care about me. I started examining my interactions with them. Did they hang out with me just to hang out? I soon discovered that most of my "friends" were people who needed something from me besides companionship. Whether a hot meal, a place to sleep, money, booze, or whatever, I was extremely disappointed to find out that "they" only needed me when they "needed" me. The solution? Stop giving them what they wanted. Soon enough, the true friends floated to the surface. I found my life to be much simpler and much less aggravating. Since my revelation, I have made new friends that truly care about me and want nothing from me. I have formed deeper bonds with the old friends who weren't mooching shit off me. I value my friends more than ever now. So don't be afraid to Chuck the Shitty Friends! They might learn something about themselves and you definitely will learn something about yourself - what your "emotional currency" is worth to others.

In the beginning...

In June of 2006, a catastrophic flood forced my family and I to relocate. We lost almost everything due to water and mold damage. After we re-settled, I began to notice the house filling up with shit. Useless, unncessary, unused, unwanted, dust collecting, space hogging shit. Whenever we saw something we liked, we bought it. It was like a knee-jerk reaction to losing everything - suddenly, there were places to put these things that we didn't want, need, or use. So we did. I finally reached my breaking point about a year ago and decided that I was going to start changing the way that I consumed everything. I began to work in earnest on my book, The Necessitarian Manifesto, which originally began as a joke. I realized that I was losing touch with the important things in life and becoming swallowed up by the politics of want. I finished the book and began to try to live by the tenets set forth in it. I began by eliminating all of the clothes that I never wore. I got rid of 60+ articles of clothing (the first time!). I started finding people who needed the things I didn't want and when they asked me "How much?" inevitably the answer was "Free." I started paying attention to my triggers for buying - for me, super cool tech toys or musical instruments - and started ignoring my consumer impulses. I started growing a garden (this year will be the third year!). I gave away drum sets, bikes, tools, clothes, TV's, beds, blankets, more tools, video games, books - name it. My wife stopped me from giving away our van. The more things that I got rid of, the more full my life felt. I started having more dinner parties at my house, spending more time outside, riding my bike, walking, talking to my family, playing with my pets, and generally living instead of just being alive. I've never really cared too much for material goods at all - I've always thought of myself as someone who isn't impacted by marketing, commercialism, etc. Once I began to chuck my shit, I realized that as little as I subscribed to the gospel of consumerism, I still was an adherent - perhaps a semi-lapsed one, but still a supplicant. In a lot of ways, I'm still a consumer of non-necessities, but I have decreased my acquisitions dramatically. I build a lot of the things that I need now, and before I purchase anything, I ask myself if I really need it. If I don't need it, I usually don't get it. The Necessitarian philosophy has begun to creep into every aspect of my life - from how I handle my friends to how I landscape! Stay tuned...